Real Missionary Wives of Cochabamba
Today I went to a birthday brunch with some expat friends, mostly missionary wives. I laughed until my face hurt from spreading in such a wide grin. We played the "lap game" where we had to move seats (even if its occupied) when the statement applied to ourselves (ex. I made my bed today...that would not be me, ha!). Anyways, as we sat around a table, the 10 of us shared stories of our wild experiences the past few years as missionaries, as well as frustrations and encouragement that come with parenting. As the women shared their wisdom, I realized what a gift it is to know these women who serve behind the scenes as incredible missionary wives. One friend shared how she often gets asked, "So what is a typical day like for you there?" We sometimes think, "Well, its not all that different than your day in the US." We do laundry, although the majority of us hang dry our clothes. We cook, although usually its all fresh foods, requiring a lot of prep work and clean up afterwards (without a dishwasher). Many of us homeschool, although its often challenging getting materials here, so we sometimes use hand-me-downs, internet resources, etc. to pull together a curriculum that will work.
But there are other ways, where our days are completely different. I'll share just a few personal examples. Today one friend mentioned how someone in their organization working in a different city found out about a major family emergency in the states, while at that exact time, they had a missions team on a plane to Bolivia for a mission trip. My friend and one other missionary wife here in Cochabamba hopped on a plane to that other city where their friend was serving, and these two women were the smiling faces ready to greet and serve with this team for a week or so. These ladies left their husbands and children at the last minute and went joyfully serving and working hard to take that burden off of their friend while they were dealing with a family emergency. (These ladies are my heroes, by the way!)
Another common issue among missionary women is fighting fears being in a different culture. I have one who loses sleep at night afraid that someone will break into her home. She quotes scriptures and prays asking the Lord to give her peace every night. Another is worried her children will open the front gate of her home without an adult present. Often strangers ring the bell, and you never know when the person on the other side could be a crazy drunk, kidnapper, or thief. (Fortunately, its usually just someone wanting to mow your lawn, sharpen your knives, or accept a donation of clothing or money.) And for me, I struggle with being afraid to drive here. People drive crazy and honk for every reason under the sun, and police officers are often corrupt, accepting bribes and handling things illegally. So, I don't drive a whole lot. I walk where I can...the nearby tienda, the bread store, the butcher, our church. But sometimes I just take a taxi if I need to go very far so I don't have to deal with the anxiety of driving.
Hosting people is another common theme among missionary families. I hear stories of our friends' kids giving up their bedroom for a month or more while someone stays with them. One friend was saying that an entire family was staying in their home for several weeks, and over time she saw her kids' behavior change, in a negative way. She realized he was struggling with having other people occupying their family time/attention and acting out because of it. We've had many people in and out of our home in the past 3 years. Right now we have a 20 year old volunteering at our friend's orphanage for one more week and he's staying in our bonus room and eating dinner with us every night. He's great with our kids and helps out with cleaning the kitchen, but having someone else in your home always makes things a little more difficult. (I'll be honest...I'm cleaning my house a lot more than I normally would!) Beyond that, on any given day Seth or I have invited someone to lunch or dinner here...at least 5-6 days a week. Our kids are accustomed to it and enjoy getting know people of different ages and backgrounds.
Another commonality among missionary wives is supporting husbands who can work under a lot of stress. A friend of ours said missions is one of the most stressful professions, and I believe it 100%. Missionaries deal with it different ways...some of our friends' husbands get up and go to the gym at 5 a.m. to work off some stress. (Seth tried to join the workout club but he's a night owl, so that didn't work so well.) Others might relieve stress watching a series on Netflix or going out with friends to play basketball or meet other guys at a coffee shop to encourage and pray for one another. But the need for stress relief is there, and we do what is necessary so that our husbands can keep working diligently. (Hey, I let Seth buy Red Bulls and go to the movie theater occasionally.)
And then there's the balancing of two worlds. Our kids grow up in one culture, but we don't want them to miss out on our home culture. My friend told the story of when they were visiting a park in the US, one of her boys yelled, "Hey, look at that! We've never seen one of those before!" Heads turned....and it was a squirrel! He really hadn't ever seen one before. He lives in a completely different world. My kids know the Bolivian national anthem, but they don't know the US national anthem. (Don't worry mom and dad, I'll work on that!) And although its great that we're bilingual we honestly sometimes forget how to say things in English. And some wives here really are torn between two worlds, with grown kids in college or making them grandparents far away in the US. One friend recently confessed a real fear that she was abandoning her children by being here while they are there. It's so hard, and these women need to be prayed for and encouraged regularly.
So, there you have it. A few secrets and challenges of the "real missionary wives of Cochabamba." From the outside, it may look like we've got it all together, but we're all just clinging to Christ to lead us, protect us, and meet the needs of those we love just like many of you. We love where we are and what we do, but we know that we're missing out on family and relationships back "home." But, we don't really feel at home anywhere.
"For our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a savior, the Lord Jesus Christ." Phil. 3:20
But there are other ways, where our days are completely different. I'll share just a few personal examples. Today one friend mentioned how someone in their organization working in a different city found out about a major family emergency in the states, while at that exact time, they had a missions team on a plane to Bolivia for a mission trip. My friend and one other missionary wife here in Cochabamba hopped on a plane to that other city where their friend was serving, and these two women were the smiling faces ready to greet and serve with this team for a week or so. These ladies left their husbands and children at the last minute and went joyfully serving and working hard to take that burden off of their friend while they were dealing with a family emergency. (These ladies are my heroes, by the way!)
Another common issue among missionary women is fighting fears being in a different culture. I have one who loses sleep at night afraid that someone will break into her home. She quotes scriptures and prays asking the Lord to give her peace every night. Another is worried her children will open the front gate of her home without an adult present. Often strangers ring the bell, and you never know when the person on the other side could be a crazy drunk, kidnapper, or thief. (Fortunately, its usually just someone wanting to mow your lawn, sharpen your knives, or accept a donation of clothing or money.) And for me, I struggle with being afraid to drive here. People drive crazy and honk for every reason under the sun, and police officers are often corrupt, accepting bribes and handling things illegally. So, I don't drive a whole lot. I walk where I can...the nearby tienda, the bread store, the butcher, our church. But sometimes I just take a taxi if I need to go very far so I don't have to deal with the anxiety of driving.
Hosting people is another common theme among missionary families. I hear stories of our friends' kids giving up their bedroom for a month or more while someone stays with them. One friend was saying that an entire family was staying in their home for several weeks, and over time she saw her kids' behavior change, in a negative way. She realized he was struggling with having other people occupying their family time/attention and acting out because of it. We've had many people in and out of our home in the past 3 years. Right now we have a 20 year old volunteering at our friend's orphanage for one more week and he's staying in our bonus room and eating dinner with us every night. He's great with our kids and helps out with cleaning the kitchen, but having someone else in your home always makes things a little more difficult. (I'll be honest...I'm cleaning my house a lot more than I normally would!) Beyond that, on any given day Seth or I have invited someone to lunch or dinner here...at least 5-6 days a week. Our kids are accustomed to it and enjoy getting know people of different ages and backgrounds.
Another commonality among missionary wives is supporting husbands who can work under a lot of stress. A friend of ours said missions is one of the most stressful professions, and I believe it 100%. Missionaries deal with it different ways...some of our friends' husbands get up and go to the gym at 5 a.m. to work off some stress. (Seth tried to join the workout club but he's a night owl, so that didn't work so well.) Others might relieve stress watching a series on Netflix or going out with friends to play basketball or meet other guys at a coffee shop to encourage and pray for one another. But the need for stress relief is there, and we do what is necessary so that our husbands can keep working diligently. (Hey, I let Seth buy Red Bulls and go to the movie theater occasionally.)
And then there's the balancing of two worlds. Our kids grow up in one culture, but we don't want them to miss out on our home culture. My friend told the story of when they were visiting a park in the US, one of her boys yelled, "Hey, look at that! We've never seen one of those before!" Heads turned....and it was a squirrel! He really hadn't ever seen one before. He lives in a completely different world. My kids know the Bolivian national anthem, but they don't know the US national anthem. (Don't worry mom and dad, I'll work on that!) And although its great that we're bilingual we honestly sometimes forget how to say things in English. And some wives here really are torn between two worlds, with grown kids in college or making them grandparents far away in the US. One friend recently confessed a real fear that she was abandoning her children by being here while they are there. It's so hard, and these women need to be prayed for and encouraged regularly.
So, there you have it. A few secrets and challenges of the "real missionary wives of Cochabamba." From the outside, it may look like we've got it all together, but we're all just clinging to Christ to lead us, protect us, and meet the needs of those we love just like many of you. We love where we are and what we do, but we know that we're missing out on family and relationships back "home." But, we don't really feel at home anywhere.
"For our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a savior, the Lord Jesus Christ." Phil. 3:20
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